the sewer system :P

Thursday, January 26, 2012

The best time i can cry myself out is when i'm driving alone from school..i would drive n crying at the same time..
the only place i can cry alone without no one knowing it... i just don't know to who should i share my problems..i rather cry all alone in the car.
fake a smile and try myself to be happy..
5 days a week..i guess i cry in every single day after work....
I just wish i could tell someone how i feel...what in my mind...but i don't know to who i should...n i end up hurting myself...i just couldn't do..n i hate myself...LOVEY-DOVEY mode is always there with me..everyday..I just hate myself for this...
Cry..cry...can u feel it in my eyes that i actually crying inside...i may look happy but yeah..i'm too good to be true..
I cry inside but i never show it to u..i will always make myself to be funny n act silly..i guess i never that lucky likes u..! I try to cope up with thing n try to be someone better..
I just hold on to my faith n try to be the happiest girl..try my best to make myself smile n laugh even i know sometimes it's FAKE..

Saturday, January 21, 2012


is it wrong for me to love someone's else lover? I fall in it wrong for me to fall in love?  is it wrong for me to have feeling towards him? well..i is true..that love is BLIND..u never know who u will fall for..who will u in love with..
i wish he is mine..but i know u are someone's else. i don't have the right to own u...
you're presence still lingers here..your kiss..your touch..your smile...i just could not forget that..they just too much of time cannot erase..

i feel likes a BITCH for doing this..having feeling towards you..snatching him from his love's one!.oh did i?.yes..i did..betrayed the trust n faith that they built years n years...God just help me to forget him and move on.. i don't wanna be the 3rd person. i don't want to ruin his relationship. i'm just a stranger passing by...please help me to move away n carry on with my own life.
give me way..give me the right choice..give me someone who can save me..i just don't want to ruin his relationship. i know how it feel when your relationship is ruin by the 3rd really does hurt me that much..

i do believe in KARMA..n i'm scare it might come back to me one day.  Just give me a way to walk away from this. I love him but does he loves me? Or am i just a passer by in his life? when i'm with him, i feel secure, i feel so in love. he treats me likes his own..he makes me feel so happy n most of all, he makes me laugh a lot.:)

hummm..i thank you God for giving me chance to be with him even it is just a while n i know it is so wrong..but i really hope i will find someone else to love me..

I'm so sorry but yes..i love you even i know i am wrong!

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Wednesday, January 11, 2012


2012 is finally here..

Thank You God for this new year. 
Thank you coz i'm still breathing, still alive, still talking, still walking, still moving, still thinking, still smilling, still laughing  and still eating likes a lil piggy of coz!!.
Thank you for making me for who i am.

 My new year resolution ~~ i guess it is still gonna be the same. I mean some of last year are still...hanging by the thread..**mission impossible never finish** I guess i have to RECYCLE all those unfinished monkey business again n again n again till i grow old..HAHA..

This year i gonna start up with my saving..for the past 3 years, i end up being the foolish shopaholic ever.. i spent my cash till the last penny without even thinking of what gonna happen in the future. I need..i mean i really need to save money this year..who know i might get married soon..n what happen if i don't even have saving..? All my dream wedding will gone just likes that. I can't just depending on mummy or daddy. 
Yes..n yes..a saving is indeed the most important thing to do this 2012.

The rest is remain u think so? Oh no..i need to do some changes to myself too.
No night out if can..i really need to change my "night-life"..Get more sleep n rest well. No more "WEEKEND's HANGOVER" on Monday or any other day. I guess it is enough... well..i guess it is kinda hard for me to 100% forget about it or the correct word is to stop it...slow..slow..hehe..i still can go but make it less..less than last year..**every year always the same words..LESS THAN LAST YEAR..LOL** but it never fact the number is getting more n more..:P

be more matured..heee...i guess i am still acting likes those 5 or 6 years old..**pstt..i am a preschool teacher myself..** i guess being childish n playful is SO OKKKK!!

sleep less...i mean more healthy food, healthy diet n exercise more..maintain my weight below 50kgs...all my effort will be worthless if i eat n eat but didn't EXERCISE regularly!!
less ice cream..less chocolate..more fruit..more veges..even though i don't really eat vegetables! :P
be more prettier than  a must!! :) be healthier, happier, be more lovable than ever..n most of all love my family n friends more n more..:) 

I really hope..**cross my fingers** this 2012 will be much much much better than 2011..
Btw, i love myself more n more!! 

p/s ~~ God send me my prince charming, so i can be more n more lively!! :P


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